Wednesday, October 16, 2013

How cutting off the leeches will make us stronger and please God

I have been reading that both food stamps and EBT funding will be cut off unless the viciously evil Democrats agree to the virtuously reasonable demands of our Grand Old Party.

At first I was saddened.  Certainly collateral damage is expected in a war for the very soul of our Nation, but God does not want children to go hungry even if their parents are blood sucking leeches of little worth.

Then I realized that I was wrong.  These children will feel hunger pains not because of us, but because of the welfare dependency caused by that socialist muslim interloper who listens in on our telephone conversations.   This is tough love - by cutting the apron strings, these lazy loafers will be forced to pull themselves up by their own bootstraps and learn the value of hard work.

Then I felt pangs of doubt, pangs much worse than any hunger pangs those children might feel. Are there any jobs that these ill-educated, barely human creatures can attain?  Thanks to the munificent Federal minimum wage and the outrageous demands of Obamacare on small business, our ability to offer gainful employment has been destroyed.  Perhaps I was wrong?

But no, I am not.  I have seen American ingenuity triumph over socialism before and it will triumph again.  All that is required is for American business leaders to hire quietly, under the table, offering cash or perhaps even barter for work.  Yes, this is "illegal", but do we really need to concern ourselves with following those foolishly enacted laws when so much is at stake?

I say no.  In that spirit, I am prepared to offer one large turnip or half a box of Cheerios to any God fearing EBT card holder who is willing to give me just four hours of work cleaning my house.

Assuming you speak English and have proper documentation and at least three community references, of course.

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